The BAD GUY Family!

The BAD GUY Family!>

This post is alternately titled:
 We're Basically Badass, Duh.

Ok, so a few months back my husband convinced our daughter, Bella, in what I am sure is a Pinky and the Brain inspired move, that we are a family of bad guys.  I may or may not have added the bit about taking over the world.  Either way, she really grasped onto that idea.  

Practically every day she would ask what bad guy families did and HOW ARE WE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

She's a crafty devil and advances quickly, so the "how" soon became taken for granted.  The question has evolved to WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN WE TAKE OVER THE WORLD???

My loving man had not made it home yet so I decided to go ahead and slop the pigs... er, feed the girls when the subject of bad guys, our all consuming power and the rise of was once again broached over pasta.  

Bella- So what do you think bad guys eat for dinner...?

Me- Oh definitely probably maggots and dog brains.  

Bella- Dog brains?!  That sounds really gross!  

Me- Well, bad guys only eat bad things so it would have to be really gross.  

Bella- Oh.  Well.  I guess they eat fly guts too, then.  

She begins to eye her plate of spaghetti suspiciously...

Me- Trying to avert a crisis, aka an alternate dinner We're good guys, but we're still going to take over the world.  Or at least run shit our way.

Bella- Thinking.... Thinking....Thinking...  She's trying to figure out how to ask me what the hell I mean with out using "shit."  Finally!...Well, how about you be Queen and dad bes King.  

Me- No.  That won't work.  I want to be king.  (Really, I do.)

Bella- looking at me like I am completely fucked in the head and ultimately ridiculous says, with gentle correction: You can't be KING, you are a girl.  (real slow)    Girls   can't     be    king.  

Me- But the king is the one with all the power.  That's what I want.

Bella-  ....Well, this way you won't have to do can just cheer dad on.


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